Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
