i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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