I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
