I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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