dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
