I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize