Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
