i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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