She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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