im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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