I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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