I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
