If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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