Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
