Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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