ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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