I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Two words: blizzard sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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