But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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