Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
its not stalking. its research.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
