I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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