No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
