who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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