meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
