just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
