I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
