Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
