she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I could fuck to npr.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
