do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
