We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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