To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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