I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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