Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
