Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
