had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
