I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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