Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
