Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
