I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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