this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
