I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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