yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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