Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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