Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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