bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
