I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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