24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
