you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
