Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sobbing to NWA
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
