So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
