If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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