We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
