I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
