i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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