i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
