Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
