Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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