my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
