Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
