omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
